i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
