He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
