I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
