I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Randomize
