Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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