batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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