he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
