I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize