They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
