that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
