Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
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