she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
