I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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