I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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