I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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