And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
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Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
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So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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