It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize