everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Randomize
