I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize
