you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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