My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
