She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
