my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
