Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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