Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
