That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
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From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
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I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
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