bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
