Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Randomize
