What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Randomize
