you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
And then my night got REAL pukey
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
