in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
