You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Randomize
