that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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