apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
