john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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