After last night, I could never be a politician.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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