I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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