did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
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I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
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I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
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