somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
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I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
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we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
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