cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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