I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize