Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
