But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
