you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
