just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
