fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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