I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
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