my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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