I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
