You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
