How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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