only if we run a train.
done.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
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