I think i peed on brittanys purse
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
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