I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Randomize
