Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
