I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
How many fucks given?
0.12846
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
