Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
