she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
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Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
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My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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