Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize