They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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