Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
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