hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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