she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
My pussy is not your playground.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
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