I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
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