I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
