If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize