so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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