Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
